As an author, wife, mother of 3 and office manager, I am often asked how I find time for my craft. On the surface, it seems to most people that being a parent takes a toll on one's ability to write, or at least on one's productivity. The following is Part 2 of a 3-part article that hopes to capture some of the essence of what it means to be a parent and a writer.

THE WRITING PARENT, by Sara Francis-Fujimura

There are days that my writer’s hat has to stay on its peg. I used to get frustrated—sometimes even resentful—but I’ve finally made peace with it. My kids will only be small for a short time, but I can write for many more years to come. To keep my career rolling though, even if it is at a much slower pace than I would like, I’ve come up with 3 ways to make sure that my writing craft is always improving.

1. VOLUNTEER to work with kids.
Pick your poison--Sunday school teacher. Soccer coach. Field trip chaperone. Whatever interests you. Don’t look at it as one more commitment. Instead, look at it as an opportunity for some hands-on, intimate research on character and voice. Actively watch how kids interact with each other. What are they talking about? What kind of phrasings do they use? Open yourself up to the moment. See what memories surface from your own childhood at that same stage of life.

I volunteer a lot (I can’t stop myself!): Girl Scouts, Boys Club, 4th grade book discussion, and Drama Club. Sometimes I have all girls. Sometimes all boys. Sometimes it’s mixed. I work with kids from 1st grade to 8th grade. Sometimes they are the same age. Sometimes they are widely mixed. Each group of kids has its own distinct flow and character. I watch attentively and make lots of mental notes. Okay, something I’m not particularly proud of but…I eavesdrop frequently, too. I couldn’t make up half of the crazy stuff I’ve overheard!

2. LISTEN to what kids are saying about books.
I love to ask kids for book recommendations. Books they willingly pick up in the library or bookstore, not what’s assigned or forced on them by adults. After they get over the initial shock of an adult asking them something instead of telling them, they can come up with some surprising answers. During a recent 4th grade book discussion, where I have all boys, we talked about what constitutes a “bad” book.
“If a kid dies, it’s a bad book,” Hunter said.
“But what about Bridge to Terabithia?” I asked. “You didn’t like the movie either?”
“Nope. Bad book. Bad movie.” Hunter insisted.
“And why do dogs always have to die in books?” Andy added. “I like happy endings.”

Hmmm. Not sure I agree with their assessment of “bad” books, but they had a good take-home point. Does the child (or dog) really need to die in your book or are you just being gratuitous?

I read to my kids almost every night, even though both of them are very proficient readers. Besides the bonding time and market research, I like to get their opinions on the writing. I usually stop a couple of chapters into the book and ask if the kids want to keep reading or not. Old-fashioned (read: slow and condescending) books, including a couple of award-winners, rarely make the cut. We like to discuss what makes us want to keep going with the book. Was it the cliffhanger at the end of Chapter 3? Was it the main character’s quirky voice? Is it something like we’ve never read before? Later the next day, I ask myself if my project would stand up to Katie and Andy’s rigorous 3-chapter test.

3. TRAIN yourself to write on demand.
You’ve probably already read all of the how-to articles on writing efficiently. That you should make writing appointments with yourself, remove distractions (I have to turn off the WiFi capability on my laptop), and come prepared to your writing session like it was a class. I like to take it a step further. I rarely have writer’s block, because I’ve trained myself to write on demand. Granted there are days that the writing produced is complete garbage, but you can edit garbage. You can’t edit an empty file.

I often refer to the Starbucks near my son’s school as my satellite office, because I spend so much BIC time there each week. I’ve sat there so many times drinking strong coffee while cramming in a precious writing session, that I’ve developed an almost Pavlovian response. Starbucks+Strong Coffee=Productivity. Even on days when I have the rare block of uninterrupted writing time, sometimes I will still go to Starbucks just to get a productivity boost. The only downside—I frequently smell like coffee.

Okay, now you’ve made peace with the sloth-like pace of your writing career. You look at your volunteer commitments as research time. Kids think you are cool, because you routinely ask for their recommendations on books (and get back to them on it after you actually READ them). You’ve even carved out writing meetings with yourself with the warning to your kids “Unless the house is on fire or someone is bleeding, don’t bother me.” Now what?

Writing for kids is a slooooooow process, especially if you write 300+-page young adult novels like I do. Even after the hard part is done, the waiting game begins. And, unfortunately so do the inevitable rejections—at least until the stars align and the right manuscript lands on the right editor’s desk at the right time of the right trend.

I could repaper my living room with all my rejection letters. To keep from completely giving up, I do smaller projects to remind myself that, yes, some people don’t think my work sucks. A $1000 check for a magazine article you wrote can be a wonderful salve. If magazine work isn’t your style, enter contests or write something for your local paper. It makes my daughter really proud when someone says to her, “I read your mom’s article on roller derby mamas. That was so cool!” That kind of ego boost shuts up the Inner Critic for a while, too. You can also try taking your work to conferences and getting professional critiques. Pinned on the bulletin board behind my desk are a half-dozen business cards from editors and agents who have told me, “I like this. I want to see more.” The stars still haven’t aligned on my manuscripts, but it is comforting to know that there are some influential people out there who don’t think my writing completely sucks. It keeps me going.

I hope this keeps you going, too. It’s not easy being a parent-writer, but you have a secret weapon—your kids! And the best part is, you can be The Cool Mom or Dad while you are working on your craft. How many people can say that about their job?

Good luck, writers!

Sara Francis-Fujimura is a freelance writer, author, and creative writing teacher from Arizona. Her work has appeared in such magazines as Girls' Life, Woman's Day, Mothering, Scholastic's Science World, Raising Arizona Kids, The World Health Organization's Perspectives in Health, and Dance Spirit, among others. Her essays have been featured in Chicken Soup for the Soul: A Tribute to Moms and the upcoming travel book To Japan with Love. Sara blogs for the Phoenix-based Mom's Zone (www.momszone.org). www.sarafujimura.com www.massagingthemuse.com On Twitter @SaraFujimura